Becky Robertson: Workshop Bursary Blog

The second of our guest blogs from the Workshop Bursaries for 2023/24 is by Becky Robertson.

Becky's growth and discovery through the bursary is exactly what the Toogs Artist Workshop space is made for! We realise it’s not always easy to turn up, and a lot of Becky’s struggles will be familiar to many folk that visit the workshop. Becky did show up - despite doubts around her identity as an Artist - and she went on to create a powerful and personal series of Artwork. Becky has now generously shared her journey below - it’s inspirational!

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BAD ARTIST 

by Becky Robertson

“Dear Becky Robertson, I hope this message finds you well. I am delighted to inform you that your application for the Shetland Artist Bursary at Gaada has been successful!”

Shetland Artist Bursary.  That was the first confusion.  How could I have been successful in getting a bursary for Artists?  I wasn’t even particularly sure why I’d applied.  Well, I knew exactly why I’d applied – because my best friend had suggested it, and it was so nice that she believed in me, that I thought I’d be letting her down if I didn’t.

But the Bursary was for Artists.  Like actual Artists.  I was just some creative type person who sometimes did some pictures and stuff.  And had done an art course at college…. But, you know, not an Artist.

I readily replied and thanked them for their email – kind of feeling a bit like my reply would trigger their realisation that (regrettably) they’d emailed the wrong person.

But, they hadn’t.

Gaada believed in me too…

So, I booked my bursary workshop sessions.  And I puzzled about what I would do with them.  What would the sessions look like?  What could I produce?  How could I not waste this opportunity?  How could I avoid letting my friend down?  Gaada down?  Myself down?

After several pep talks and internal battles, I decided to book a slot on a screenprinting workshop too, as I was super keen to get some proper Artist skills before I turned up to the bursary sessions.  Yes, perhaps if I found a way to become an Artist before the first bursary session… that might work?

Becky and Amy during the Screenprinting Workshop

The screenprinting workshop was incredible, along with around 5 Artists, I was taught the whole process from start to finish and produced a piece of what looked surprisingly like Art.  The whole way through the workshop, Jono and Amy were just the right level of supportive – full of encouragement for us to do things for ourselves – passing on the skills we would need to print independently in future.

And at the end of the workshop they asked to keep one of my prints – to display – with the work of the Artists who had done the workshop too.  Odd, I thought.  But I had quite fraudulently bought a Shetland Artists Membership – to support Gaada’s awesome work – so maybe they were a bit confused…

In the run up to my first bursary session, the world was heavy on my shoulders.  I was suffering some pretty obnoxious overwhelm and a big part of that was probably due to the fact that; as well as being a mum, self-employed, needing to move house and some deterioration in my mum’s health – I’d also been mistaken for an Artist and at some point soon was going to get exposed.

So I doodled.  And I sketched.  And I set aside a couple of days to draw what I was feeling.  Which was something I hadn’t done in months.  In fact, I’d never really just sketched what I was feeling – I’d always tried to make something that looked nice – that fitted a college brief, or might be nice on the wall in someone’s bathroom.

Becky making in the workshop

As I walked into my first session I was pretty panicked.  I mean, I’d doodled some stuff, but I had zero plans.  I’d emailed Daniel a while before and he’d assured me I would be able to produce something, even if I turned up empty handed.  But, this wasn’t particularly reassuring, as he’d mistaken me for an Artist too.  And an Artist would almost certainly manage to do that.  I, on the other hand, would probably just waste everyone’s time.

I rather hurriedly sprawled out my drawings and sketches and rambled about overwhelm to Jono.  We chatted for a while and he had a flick through my sketchbooks and doodles.  And we discussed different processes and media options.  I’d seen Artists producing some pretty awesome things using the Risograph – and after some more chatting and pondering – I produced 2 images in that first session.  Weirdly, they also looked a little like Art.

By the end of that session – I had a plan for 2 more images – and I knew they would be a set.  I’d experimented with producing different textures and decided which colours I’d be using for the next session.  It was such a contrast to how I felt at the beginning of the workshop, that I left feeling about a foot taller.

The next session was just as incredible, with the set of 4 images being completed by the end.  I then had a few weeks to consider what I’d do with my remaining sessions – but I felt strangely calm about it, I knew I could produce something during those sessions and I felt a new confidence in myself, and the equipment I was using.

The next session saw me working on some more personal pieces, exploring the loss of my dad, and working through some fresh grief that some of my favourite people were experiencing.  The safe and supportive environment was such that I felt able to share openly what these pieces meant without fear of judgement of any kind.  I am genuinely grateful that I had these sessions booked for what turned out to be the time I needed them most.

In the last session, I began a new series of prints –which were inspired by my whole experience of the bursary.  They include words and phrases which help me to make sense of the world, and allow me to breathe a little easier.  I’d gone from turning up in a state of overwhelm, going through a period of grief and transition, and ending with some images which demonstrate the need to trust the process, the universe, and maybe even yourself.

I have more work to do on this series, which I will be doing at Gaada, in their Open Access sessions.  I feel like it’s such a fantastic space to work on Art and a great way to allow myself the time to do that.  I am also really looking forward to my set of prints being exhibited at the Toogs Artist Workshop in autumn this year.

A set of prints which may, or may not, look good in your bathroom.  But they are definitely Art.  Because they were created by an Artist.  It just took this bursary for me to see her.

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Gaada workshop bursaries are made possible by the funding of Creative Scotland and Shetland Charitable Trust.